First let me start with some thank you's. Thank you to all of my co workers at COP in the MCBU, the care package that you sent was unbelievable. The baby blanket, baby bible, sleep sheep, food, gift cards and B&B stuff was fantastic. (Thank you Jodi for coordinating the package.) We have been reading other blogs and they talked about the sleep sheep and Machel jumped up like a little kid and screamed YEAH, that's perfect!! After Christmas we will change the blanket on her incubator from the Christmas one we bought her to the pink one you guys sent. Also, thank you to Eric for staying at the house and watching our dogs and sending us some of our movies and ipod and camera and such. Also, thanks to KC and Donny for watching the dogs and helping out at the house. You guys are amazing and I am truly blessed to have such great friends and coworkers who are so caring and fantastic. I appreciate all of the support and emails and well wishes and most of all the prayers.
Now on to Isabella, today has been a very very difficult and heart wrenching day. They say she looks good, then they say well looks like we need to drain the fluids with a small surgery, now they say well she might need a full lapirodomy (I think that's what he said) it is a major surgery where they cut across her belly to suction out the excess fluid and possibly if the bowel is perforated badly enough cut a piece of her bowel out and then they would go back in later to reattach it. They are currently waiting until tomorrow to see which of the options they are going to do. The head surgeon thought it wasn't that bad, the medical staff is nervous because she is starting to de stat a little more now ( she went like 2 days without a single de stat and was on very low O2 levels) her blood pressure is fluctuating and she seems annoyed by everyone constantly touching her and taking xrays and ultrasounds. We are really concerned because she started off so amazing and now seems to be heading downhill and it is crushing to see your little girl go through all of that. I know it's hard for any parent to see their kids hurting, but I feel so sad seeing her because she is so tiny and helpless. Machel and I saw her grimice twice today when they rolled her on her side that has some of the discoloration and bloating. It makes us cry to see her in pain and I wish I could just take that pain from her, or that the Lord would make me feel that pain so that she didn't have to. My parents always told me, just wait until you have kids and you will understand, well I do understand now, I understand that you want everything for them and when they hurt you hurt, when they smile it is the most wonderful thing in the world. I am very scared and want her to get better and we pray to the Lord for that to happen and I know that the bible says do not be afraid, trust in me and do you not have faith in the lord? It is difficult to not be afraid to not feel sadness for her and when we do, we pray for her and continue to trust in the lord.
We went to say good night to our little girl tonight and she was just coming out of de stating, we were so worried. But then a new baby came into the NICU next to her and was in really bad shape. He required surgery right away right there in the NICU, so we had to leave, but before we did we said a prayer for the other babies in the NICU, for Bella's new neighbor and for our little girl. I am sad for our baby but must also remember all of the other parents and families going through the same thing we are. That is why I always like to say this prayer to Bella everynight...
Our Father who art in Heaven hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever.
Tomorrow I will try to take a lot of pictures of Bella, we now have our camera, thanks to Eric. She is actually looking bigger and want you all to see her too.